Remember that one time that you made Mommy cry in the car? Well, I do.
Cut to the morning of May 16th
The Meltdown Timeline:
- 2:30am– Enter Dominic screaming like he’s on fire. What happened? Well, he couldn’t find his elephant, that he had throw from the crib during an earlier tantrum. Filling half a bottle before entering I feed him 4oz, read a short book to calm him down, and do a diaper change laying him back into the crib. Shuffling into the kitchen, I wash the bottle and pre-fill it with enough powder for the next feeding, yes we formula feed here.
- 3:30am– Climbing back into bed as Brutus gives me side eye. Dominic fusses on and off until 4:15am.
- 6:15am– Dominic starts to stir. I get up try to get composed and make my way to his room. As my hand touches the door the screaming starts.
- 6:30am– Dominic continues screaming like he’s on fire as I try, somewhat successfully, to clean his caked on shit off of him as he kicks and stiffens his entire body.
- 6:45am– Dominic covered in his own snot, he’s had a cold for two weeks now, freaking out as the nosefrida makes it’s way to his face. (Nosefrida is life btw, even if Dominic disagrees) I get dressed while he continues to scream on my bed.
The morning struggle continues
- 7am– Putting Dominic, still screaming , into the carrier in order to walk the dog. Brutus fun fact: he refuses to walk, or go outside so each putting is a resistance training workout.
- 7:30am– Amazon Fresh delivery- let me explain what this looks like- Brutus trying to sprint out the front door, Dominic shrieking because I have to put him down to pick up grocery bags, Amazon employee trying to run out the door before taking those damned bags back.
- 7:50am- Putting everything away while simultaneously feeding the dog, the kid, and packing the diaper bag.
- 8:20am- Grabbing everything we need for the day we start out on our adventures (carrying Dominic, the diaper bag , three boxes that go to the trash room, and my to go coffee). People open the door as we walk the hallway due to his blood curdling screams. I stare giving the a fuck off smile and finally get to the trash room.
- 8:30am- We’ve made it to the car! The fight into the car seat sends Dominic into full meltdown mode. I shut his door turned and knock over my coffee. THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING WORSE THAN THIS.
- 8:45am- Starting the car, starting Waze and realizing we’re going to be late for class, Dom’s continuing melting down, my beloved coffee all over the garage floor, I cry…. Full blown Kim K ugly cry. The ugly cry continues on and off throughout the drive.
- 9:06am- Getting Dominic from the car and rushing inside. Walking into to everyone waiting at the entrance and the instructor saying everyone was right on time….I almost cry again.
The Lead Up:
My husband away for work day 2, several more coming. Still nursing my Mother’s Day Hangover (to be clear this is not an actual hangover) Dominic and I off our normal sleep schedule, fun fact: we both like sleep, so we’re already on edge. The day prior was a hot ass mess, I repeat a hot ass mess.
Long story short, the morning was already not off to a great start. AT 8:45am we’d both had all that we can take. For me mommy meltdowns had become a part of life, however baby D and I have been on a pretty good run.
The Meltdown Learning Moment:
After the cry and the drive I think that we both felt better, like a cleansing fire. Apparently these type of tears are called emotional tears, and they are one of the three types of tears our body produces. Who knew?! It’s possible these criers also felt better because crying has also been shown to cause the release of endorphins, our body’s natural pain killer, thus making them feel better. BOOM!
It’s science! Cry when you’re overwhelmed, you’ll feel better. After a baby your hormones a fucked, you have little if any emotional control. I pray that one day I’ll stop crying over spilled coffee, but I don’t see that day coming soon. Next time you feel like you need to meltdown just do it. Turn on that radio and cry. #Mommymeltdown solidarity.
There’s always crying in motherhood.